Osker split up

By paul

I know this was announced last week, but hey, we’re lazy!

Spiky punk oiks Osker have split, and here is the statement the band released:

“File this under “Don’t act like you bitches didn’t see this coming” : Osker is no longer.

“We have alluded to the final installment of our osker trilogy, which was to be called Thriller, but due to “complicated” issues that we can’t go into…it will never be released. This led to Dave’s shocking announcement to me over two months ago that he was quiting. His reason? “I love the music, hate the music industry.” Poor Dave.

“I stuck with it though for all the little bros and sis’s who constantly e-mailed me for tablature to our songs.
However, after not being successful to find a replacement drummer or bass player, I decided to quit the band too.

“With Dave and I no longer in the band that leaves only one founding member…the fans. Nico says this, “It’s part of pop art that anybody can impersonate somebody else…that you don’t always have to be you to be you.” So, any Osker cover bands that don’t have a name, they can use the name “osker” now because I don’t give a fuck.

“The split between Dave and I is astounding to me. I always thought we were the next simon & garfunkel. I thought we would be our generations Hall & Oates. It’s kinda like the church’s schism. Or even how Malcolm X divided from the Nation of Islam. Of course I plan on killing Dave.

“Thanks to Land who played drums with us for two shows and always made the website look nice. Don’t ever forget, however, that while some bands lower ticket prices and love to sign autographs and love people to come onstage and sing “Lucky” and dedicate songs to morons, we made shirts that said “Fuck the Fans” and we charged you for them…

“Now if you will excuse me, I’ve got stuff to do.
-Devon ”

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