Yep, it’s that time of the week again, Fat Mike is here to fill us in with everything going on in Fat World.
So, deep breath, here he goes again:
“What up Big Perm!?!? We don’t fuck around with this episode of the Fat Newsletter, we’ve got a ton of funny stories and breaking news for ya. And unlike the other dumb newsletters bombarding your in-box, we let you in on all the secret shit and even share some stories about life in general. So crack open a Beck’s and read on!
“My wife threw me a surprise party Saturday night. I was fucking surprised cuz it was 3 weeks after my birthday. I was so surprised I was kinda upset. I was shaking and my stomach pained me. I can see why old people sometimes die from surprises.
“Not me though, good thing for those huge tequila shots and dominatrix cake to settle me down. Then my seventh favorite band the Lillingtons gets on the stage and starts to play. More surprises. They flew out from Wyoming and played for the first time in 2 years, pretty fuckin cool. Lotsa people threw up that night and that’s when you know it’s been a successful evening. The more puke on the floor and piss on your shoes the more fun you think you had if you hadn’t blacked out.
“Anyway, gotta stay sober this week cuz starting on Friday it’s the 4th annual punk rock bowling tournament in Las Vegas. My favorite time of the year. Even cooler this year cuz Bouncing Souls, Alkaline Trio, and Lawrence Arms are playing. I suggest that you buy the new Lawrence Arms CD, steal the new Alkaline Trio cassette, put on your favorite Souls t-shirt, pack a lunch, get in your parents SUV, and drive the fuck to Vegas.
“EVERYONE’S gonna be there. If you’re under 21…don’t bother. See ya’ll, Fat Strike.”