Punk Goes… Christmas

By Chris Marshman

For those of us who don’t work in retail, Christmas songs trigger intense feelings of nostalgia and a longing for the festive season to instantly arrive. Clearly, some people were under the impression that Christmas was missing something. These are the same people who decided that Punk should go Crunk and that Punk should also go Classic Rock.

Forget for a second that bands have previously butchered such classics such as ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, ‘Billie Jean’ and ‘Nuthin’ but a G Thang’ under this timeless series of compilations; Fearless Records have gone in a slightly different direction with this release. There are seven original songs and only five covers here, with some truly odd surprises to be found as well. New Found Glory and Yellowcard feature amongst a few other pop punk stalwarts. Of course, surprises aren’t always pleasant.

The Summer Set’s cover of Donny Hathaway’s ‘This Christmas’ is pretty horrible. It begins with a grating synth rendition of the original riff, reminiscent of a ringtone. The soulful nature of ‘This Christmas’ has been destroyed by The Summer Set and it’s hard to tell if they intentionally meant to do that or if there’s some unintended comedy to be found here. ‘Issues’ cover of N Sync’s ‘Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays’ might induce a couple of laughs on the first play as well. However, Man Overboard seem to have seriously attempted to cover ‘Father Christmas’ by The Kinks, and it borders on painful. Out of all the covers here, Yellowcard’s version of ‘Christmas Lights’ – originally by Coldplay – is the most appealing, though it doesn’t add enough to the song to be considered a solid cover.

Perhaps then, there is a chance that this album will be redeemed by mainstays of the pop-punk genre having recorded original songs. New Found Glory kick off the album with an acoustic track called ‘Nothing For Christmas’ and it’s enjoyable. All Time Low and Real Friends have also managed to make tolerable Christmas songs, though both tracks will appeal more to existing fans of the respective bands. The record swiftly descends downwards after that, with The Ready Set and Crown The Empire producing wince-inducing, sickly and thankfully forgettable songs. These original songs somehow end up being worse than the covers – it’s hard to get past the feeling that they were recorded without even a hint of irony.

‘Punk Goes Christmas’ is downright terrible and the novelty value won’t even last the twelve days of Christmas. This is a cynical, stale compilation, and most annoying is the fact that many of the artists on it aren’t playing anything resembling punk (or even pop-punk). The covers on this release are disappointing as well, with a handful of lesser-celebrated Christmas songs being halfheartedly re-imagined. If you want to avoid a bleak midwinter, perhaps choose a silent night over this record and roast it over an open fire; there’s no room in the inn for this one. I’m not sorry.

SAMARTH KANAL

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