Any regular reader of Punktastic will know that I am rather partial to a decent pop-punk band. But the true essence of a pop-punk band is one that has energy and spiky guitars, mixed with the soaring melodies and pop sensibilities of today’s chart acts. It’s not rocket science and it certainly isn’t groundbreaking. But above all, it has to be good and fun. There is absolutely nothing worse than an awful pop-punk band, but unfortunately for Californian crew Last Minute they have produced quite possibly the worst pop-punk record I have ever heard in my entire life.
‘More Songs About Girls’ is as cliched as they come. From the rather unamusing title to the terrible singing, out of synch musicianship and songs which really should have been left in the practice room, everything about this band is plain wrong. The singer sounds like Elvis Costello with a throat infection, the guitars are laboured and extremely predictable and the drumming is excatly the same throughout the entire length of the album. In short, look up shit in the dictionary and you not only see a picture of somebody’s excrement, but you also see the name Last Minute.
Opening ‘song’ ‘He Said, She Said’ is, rather unsurprisingly, a song about a girl. But there’s no pace, no melody and certainly no get-up and go. As with every single one of the eight tracks, it’s just one big cliche – certainly not original and certainly not good. At least if you are going to write about girls make the melodies soar. This band plod along like a donkey on its way to be shot. ‘First Star To The Right’ has the rather ridiculous “please tell me a story, something that I’ve heard before,” and I’d ask anyone that’s heard this record to ask the band the very same question. Do the words dull and generic mean anything guys? Gasp! As we see the obligatory reference to shooting stars. Cringe! As we are forced to listen to some whiney kid sing about the girl of his dreams. Reach for a gun! When he starts singing “do re mi fa” towards the end…
‘Can’t Stop Thinking About Her’ is as predictable as a Blink 182 fart gag, while their ‘cover’ (and I use that word in the loosest sense) of the Bon Jovi song ‘Living On A Prayer’ is absolutely abominable. A contender for the worst cover ever there is nothing right about this at all. It’s slow, boring and cringeworthy and I’m sure it would be an effective form of torture. If this song ever gets heard in the mainstream I really think I’ll go nuts. ‘She’s A Perfect 10’ is, shock horror, passable. But it’s still crap compared to the likes of The Ataris who this band clearly rip-off. ‘In June‘ is dire and the sickly sweet ‘On Again, Off Again’ sounds like Student Rick covering Antifreeze on a bad day.
This is quite possibly the worst record I have ever heard in my entire life and joins an exclusive club of gaining no stars in a Punktastic review. Using this cd as a coaster would actually be derogatory to my drink, that’s how bad this really is. I’d rather listen to Westlife for an hour than be tortured with this crap.
Paul