First Katy Perry, now Charlotte Sometimes – why in the bobbins is this manufactured nonsense being peddled at kids going to Warped Tour? Now I know Warped isn’t the bastion of all things punk rock, but it is the travelling musical circus that kids can associate themselves to. Majors and large indies know this and there’s always been a couple of curveball acts on the tour, but why Kevin Lyman feels the need to populate Warped with toss like this I don’t know.
Charlotte Sometimes (not her real name, that’s Jessica Charlotte Poland) is managed by Crush, the same people behind Fall Out Boy and many of the FBR bands. Young Jess (she’s 20) is a kind of Lily Allen-esque female popstress, except without any of the cool indie quirk. Like me she’s as punk as a pineapple, yet dress her up in some kooky clothes, give her a tattoo or two and suddenly she’s a female Chris Carraba pouring her heart out about how she can break a boy’s heart (‘How I Could Just Kill A Man’). It’s pre-teen twaddle for people who should know better.
Now if there was a chorus here I could pass this off as inoffensive pop music, but I’ve listened to this album too many times and I can’t find a single memorable melody. So it’s not punk, it’s not fantastic and it’s not difficult to work out – but it’s also not pop, fantastic and yadda yadda yadda. So who the fuck is buying this trash? Who the Hell would want to buy into the ideal of someone masquerading as an ’emo’ kid with all the world’s ills on her shoulders.
Don’t get sucked in and don’t believe the hype – this is shit, even if you take it as disposable pop music.