So, everyone’s seen School Of Rock, right? So… in the final Battle of the Bands contest, Jack Black and the schoolkids come up against his old bandmates that kicked him out who now have a new singer and play totally bland, soulless MOR rock, and even though the kids totally kill it, No Vacancy win the prize. For fans of extended metaphors, Attention are the living, breathing version of that band.
Try to imagine Jimmy Eat World without the effortless charm and humility they manage to pull off, mixed with the dearth of good ideas that was Lostprophets’ The Betrayed, polluted with a horrible hybrid of every schmaltzy radio rock band you’ve ever heard on a long, boring drive in America. This is the result, an abysmally vapid record devoid of anything even approaching heart, passion, originality and expression. Everything about it screams out to be hated – from the title track ‘Tattered Youth’ (middle class twentysomethings singing FOR THE KIDS MAN, then), to one line from ‘A Little Song’, which goes as follows… “I check him from time to time on your Facebook page”, which is possibly the most face-slappingly awful lyric this side of Des’ree.
Probably the most disappointing thing about this record is that a couple of members of this group used to belong to Gratitude (fronted by Jonah Matranga), one of the greatest songwriters the emo scene has produced. This record meanders and plods (it’s like a long, drawn out deflation of a balloon), whilst making a rude noise at you at the same time. As you may have guessed by now, the sign off will pertain to the irony of the band’s name… whilst they may be named Attention, they fail to deserve even a minute of yours. This band will undoubtedly become absolutely massive and care little for what one punk fan from little old England says; but my time feels as wasted as that time I watched a Jack Black movie. Awful.
OLLIE CONNORS