Dexter, Dexter, Dexter...what have you done? If 'Splinter' was a movie it would arguably be 'Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace' - a product made for kids rather than the fans. Like many a music fan, 'Smash' got me into punk rock. The Offspring shifted millions and millions of copies of that album and rightly so as it's an absolute classic. Yet for some reason they've become a watered down parody in recent years, singing songs about white boy rappers or partners who won't get jobs. It seems like the commerciality of the singles takes precedent over the rest of the album. 'Americana' hinted at it, 'Conspiracy Of One' proved the theory - sadly 'Splinter' is the nail in the coffin. RIP The Offspring, it's farewell to one of the bands that inspired me to conspire with Punktastic.
The basic problem with 'Splinter' is that it's poor - too many of the songs should have been left on the cutting room floor, leaving voids on the record which scream 'skip'. With opening track 'Neocon' nothing more than a 65-second long scene setter and a closing joke song, you're already stripped to 10 efforts. If I said only about three of these are genuinely good Offspring songs I'd probably be exaggerating. I doubt any of the tracks on offer here would actually make a mix tape should I decide to concoct an Offspring best of. It's a pity because things start off so well; 'The Noose' harks back to a time when Dexter had dreads, the band disliked major labels and punk, rather than pop, was the order of the day. Noodles' guitar work is rather nifty and Josh Freese is a more than able replacement for Ron Welty. So far, so good.
But I spoke too soon. Although 'Long Way Home' does borrow from the back catalogue too, it's more 'Americana' than 'Ixnay..' and I guess that is half the problem. Maybe I'm living in the past and looking at former glories, but The Offspring are not half the band they were. They've gone from being punk legends, a band who got me into the music I'm into today, to a band seemingly intent on chart success. How else can you explain the terrible first single, 'Hit That', which makes 'Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)' look like a Grammy-winning ditty. It's just awful and not even a catchy chorus can save it from mediocrity. Sadly, it sums up the record as a whole - poor.
If '(Can't Get My) Head Around You' is passable, 'The Worst Hangover Ever' is one of the worst songs EVER to have been committed to disc. There's scratching, a stupid beat....I could literally scream and smash (no pun intended) the CD to bits. Thank fuck 'Never Gonna Find Me' kicks and spits like a mule - but the fact it takes eight songs to reach anything like a great song is really, really disappointing. 'Lightning Rod' has pace too, but for me the earlier tracks leave a bitter taste in my mouth and even then it's not that great, certainly nothing that ranks with any of the older material. The piss-poor 'Spare Me The Details' is the final nail in the coffin for me, although the wicked 'Da Hui' does regain half a star. Fast, frenetic and fucking brilliant, it leaves many an 'if only'. The least said about 'When You're In Prison' the better. Whichever record company executive passed that track needs to be sacked. Now.
'Splinter' is a very, very disappointing record and arguably their worst yet. Compare 'Smash' to this album and you'd think it was a different band. Compare 'Americana' to 'Splinter' and there are massive differences. The pace has gone, the urgency is missing and everything seems watered down. Hell, even 'Conspiracy Of One' is a better album, as a whole, than 'Splinter'. I've already seen some reviews that suggest this is The Offspring's best record yet, but it's as far removed from the truth as you could ever say. For all those who proclaim that, I have one word for you:
'Smash'.
www.offspring.com
Paul
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