By paul

Somebody, somewhere came up with the idea that Punktastic should interview its favourite sons, Milk2Sugars. Eventually it was decided to get everyone together over MSN, and let rip. I pity the fool that came up with the idea…(what do you mean it was me??) Anyway, here is the resulting conversation… be afraid, be very afraid…

PAUL: “Ok, let’s rock and roll…”
MACKIE “*Puts hand in gay pose* oooo this is fun.”
VENUS: “We should do a weekly interview.”
MATTY PEE: “I’m giggling away here.”

PAUL: “Hello M2S! I want introductions, so who are you?”
COOKIE: “It all went quiet when it got serious!”
MATTY PEE: “I am Matty Pee, from the depths of Normanton town and i play alto sax, I enjoy ham and cheese.”
VENUS: “I’m Venus McSpangly boots the second and I believe that this chat is a metaphor for life itself.”
CHRIS: “I am Chris, I play the tenor sax and I live in Rainsville, Prestonia.”
COOKIE: “I’m Cookie, the trombone man and i come from far away, what can you play?”
MATTY PEE: “Life is indeed like a multiple chat, it has many layers.”
MACKIE: “I’m Mackie, the self-proclaimed one liner dude who is probably the most random person to walk in Yorkshire ! I also play trumpet which I seem to have picked up pretty well (it’s pretty light actually).”
VENUS: “I also play guitar and sing and live in the Royal Mail distribution centre where countless bodies emerge from the mail bags.”
PAUL: “Er…Venus, anything you wanna share about the bodies?”
VENUS: “They’re in bits, there’s this one dude on a forklift and he sells the meat.”
MACKIE: “I used to live in the Royal Mail Distribution Centre but I am sworn to secrecy.”

PAUL: “What the hell are you talking about? This is an interview! Focus…”
MACKIE: “How serious is this chat?”
CHRIS: “Focusing.”
MATTY PEE: “Focus.”
MACKIE: “Pee shut the fuck up!”

PAUL: “OK, serious question. Which retard came up with the name?”
VENUS: “Errrrrrrrm….”
CHRIS: “Oooooooooooh.”
MATTY PEE: “*Looks the other way*”
MACKIE: “Pee claims he did whilst sat in Venus’ living room.”
VENUS: “Will this be on the end of term exam?”
MATTY PEE: “I dunno, we were gonna be called The Daring Young Pigeons On The Flying Trapeze but thought it was too long.”
MACKIE: “That was such a great name.”
MATTY PEE: “So. we were drinking tea and…..”
MACKIE: “TDYPOTFT, doesn’t have a ring to it…”
MATTY PEE: “Yeah but its too long.”
COOKIE: “Can we change?”
MATTY PEE: “We could.”
CHRIS: “Like Box Car Racer / Blink, nice.”
VENUS: “It’d cost more to get t-shirts printed, more ink you see.”
PAUL: “So you’re in it for the cash not the art then Veen?”
CHRIS: “It’s all about numbers.”
MATTY PEE: “Pigeons = 7.”
CHRIS: “Badgers = 4.”
MACKIE: “Veen’s in it for the songs about every girl he has met.”
VENUS: “Man you’re just twisting what I say *smashes mic and storms off a la Goldblade.*”

PAUL: “Yeah I heard rumours about the guy from Goldblade having a bit of a temper tantrum at your Preston gig…explain all.”
MACKIE: “Well… Goldblade. Legends.”
MATTY PEE: “Goldblade loved our soundman like their own love child.”
VENUS: “It all went a bit wrong.”
MACKIE: “They were pretty pissed off at our soundman.”
CHRIS: “Goldblade didn’t like playing late on and didnt like Pee.”
MACKIE: “And they starting smashing things. Yes, they actually hated pee and his ass shaking methods.”
VENUS: “There was gonna be a fight but I said ‘come on lads I don’t wanna have to get involved’ and they backed off!”
MACKIE: “Yeah sure Veen.”
CHRIS: “They were nice actually apart from the sound equipment thing.”
MACKIE: “To be fair I thought they were really good lads until they went up on stage, their on-stage persona’s took over. It was weird ‘cos afterwards they were really cool with us.”

PAUL “Ok. Moving on… pigeons. Discuss.”
VENUS: “They’re the new badgers.”
COOKIE: “Rats with wings, rather like new and improved Bodyform.”
MATTY PEE: “It’s Darwinina.”
MACKIE: “Pigeons are below badgers in the chain of our thoughts, but Chris has brought them into the limelight. Before Chris was in the band we obviously totally unappreciated the pigeon.”
CHRIS: “Whenever you see pigeons there is always seven, if there seems to be more there are mirrors and if there are less they are behind you.”
MACKIE: “P = 7.”
MATTY PEE: “You can relate everything in life to pigeons.”

PAUL: “Ok..influences…anyone really like a band so much they wanna have sex with it?”
VENUS: “I wanna have sex with Pee.”
MACKIE: “For me it would definately have to be Reel Big Fish.”
COOKIE:No Doubt, Gwen!”
CHRIS: “I think personally A and Incubus.”
COOKIE:Sublime, the ultimate!”
MACKIE: “Good call.”
MATTY PEE: “I like Kenny G.”
COOKIE: “I fell asleep to Lionel Richie last night.”
CHRIS: “Lionel Rich T.”
MACKIE: “Was he serenading you?”
COOKIE: “His tash was a bit abrasive.”
MATTY PEE: “Throwing stones at your window over a balcony.”

PAUL: “Ok, Wakefield, what’s so good about it? I mean you’re pretty summery music for such a sleepy and dull Yorkshire town…”
VENUS: “Dull, Wakey never!”
MACKIE:Wakefield is the hub of crapness.”
COOKIE: “It’s the epicenter of nothingness!”
CHRIS: “The last time I went my exhaust fell off, it was ace.”

PAUL: “Who named the EP?”
VENUS: “It’s named after Dave’s achievement – he won a paint your street competition when he was like 5.”
MATTY PEE: “We were gonna use this picture he drew for the EP cover but alas he couldnt find it, trust Dave.”
VENUS: “He got to have dinner with the Mayor and everything.”
CHRIS: “Bless ickle Dave.”

PAUL: “Are you happy with the EP and the feedback it has got so far?”
VENUS: “Yeah it’s by no means our greatest work but it’s still cool.”
COOKIE: “It just misses a certain something, like a tenor sax and a trombone.”
CHRIS: “I wasnt around when it was recorded but the quality is superb.”
MACKIE: “That’s the first thing I said on the way back from recording… ‘it’s a bit slow’ – but who cares? We rock live .”

PAUL: “So the new stuff, what can we expect?”
VENUS: “More guitar.”
MACKIE: “Yes more guitar and more, more, more horns.”
CHRIS: “More sax bits.”
VENUS: “Yeah some of our new stuff is uber fucking cool.”
MACKIE: “We need more underneath hornage and sexy harmonies. And more lyrics that are in comparison with Shakespeare himself.”

PAUL: “Any names confirmed?”
MATTY PEE: “‘Hanging Around’ makes me wanna jump up and down like a March hare it’s so ace I love it.”
MACKIE: “John. Neil.”
MATTY PEE: “‘Neurotic and Pedantic’.”
MACKIE: “I still really wanna do ‘Never Forget’ by Take That.”
VENUS: “‘I Don’t Wanna Play Your Games Anymore’.”

*With that, Venus ups and leaves.*

PAUL: “When you putting out EP number 2 because I want more!”
COOKIE: “As soon as we can all get together and record hopefully.”
MATTY PEE: “Hopefully recording this summer, but it’s a bit sketchy at the mo.”
MACKIE: “Well the plan is to record as soon as possible to be fair… but as we are about as organised as a blind bar crawl we never know…and as we aren’t on any labels and don’t have management (mainly due to our lazyness) we are still working from our own money from gigs.”

PUL: “What’s been the best moment of your careers so far?”
MATTY PEE: “Ooh, hard one… The last gig at McDermotts in pants. I’ve never felt so high…. I loved every minute of it.”
MACKIE: “I would say that every gig seems to get better and better… so the last gig in Wakefield when we all took off our clothes apart from boxer shorts for our ‘EP run’ (ie the EP songs) at the end. We had people in the crowd skanking along just in their pants as well, was brill.”
CHRIS: “Fighting Cock gig in Preston, there was a pub full of people and the atmosphere was stormin’.”
COOKIE:The first gig I did at McDermots, because I got recognised out after and got drinks bought for me!”

PAUL: “Six months ago no-one knew who you were and now everyone knows who you are! Well, almost. So what’s changed over that time?”
CHRIS: “It’s great because now I can say ‘I’m in a 7 piece punk and ska band in Wakefield‘ whereas six months ago that wasn’t true.”
MATTY PEE: “It’s been wicked, a lot of it thanks to the support you guys have given us…. we owe a lot to Russ at Hyper-Value Entertainment who started playing our stuff at Aqua in Preston.”
MACKIE: “It’s kinda weird to see our names on most probably the biggest UK punk site on the net, very weird in fact! I think it’s been nothing but a good thing and we’ve got the Punktastic gang to thank for that.”
MATTY PEE: “Chris… I used that as a chat up line in Magaluff. Alas she wasn’t impressed because she played sax too!”hehe doh!!
MACKIE: “I pulled a nice girl from her spotting me, she says ‘your in that Milk2Sugars band aren’t you?’ and snogged me.”

PAUL: “So anyone else used their new found fame yet?”
MATTY PEE: “I said it to the woman on the door of a club, it got me nowhere. I just ask for free drinks at the venues we play at.”
CHRIS: “I said it to my girlfriend’s parents and they looked at me blankly.”
MACKIE: “It’s kinda funny, during the day I work in a bank (hopefully for not much longer, it sucks!) and I say ‘I’m in a punk ska band’ and they laugh.”
COOKIE: “I got a free sample of shampoo through the post that was addressed to me, I wouldnt have got that if I weren’t in a band.”

PAUL: “You’re playing the Clarence Park festival in Wakefield, what’s that all about?”
MATTY PEE: “Well it’s a free music festival they have every year.”
COOKIE: “We’re about 4th from top of the bill, and a Status Quo tribute band are headlining!”
MACKIE: “We are sooo excited to play there, it will be our biggest gig (apart from capdown) yet.”
CHRIS: “It’s good to be playing there, even though I have no idea about it or where it is.”
MATTY PEE: “Everyone except well known bands had to audition, but they let us straight in on the main stage about 4th from top of the bill.”
MACKIE: “And yeah it’s free.”

PAUL: “MP3’s,.. Audiogalaxy got shut down, but how important do you think MP3 technology is to bands such as yourselves?”
MATTY PEE: “It is unequivically essential.”
COOKIE: “We would have no recognition with out MP3’s.”
MACKIE: “MP3’s have been nothing but a great thing for us I would have to say… without MP3’s we wouldn’t have been able to plug ourselves not only to the public at large but also to little music companies and other musical people who would be interested in us.”
MATTY PEE: “Take you can just say check us out, we got an offer of a gig in London merely on our mp3’s. Hope no-one rips us off thats all, we have no chance against big bad record ompanies.”
MACKIE: “We stalled on our music because at first people were taking liberties and burning our music and playing it. But to be honest that’s the risk we take. Without mp3’s we wouldn’t have been as well known. I can say to friends that I know online or can’t send cd’s to ‘listen to our mp3’s’.”

PAUL: “If you could collaborate with any other band who would it be and on what song?”
COOKIE:Rancid, ‘Timebomb’.”
MATTY PEE: “‘Hanging Around’, Save Ferris.”
CHRIS: “Aquabats, ‘Super Rat’ with those ace horn bits at the start.”
MACKIE:Catch 22 and ‘Club Tropicana’.”

PAUL: “What would you have on your epitaphs?”
CHRIS: “Just ‘badgers’ in massive letters.”
MACKIE: “I would have ‘died having a wank whilst sky diving’ even if I didn’t.”
COOKIE: “I would have ‘oh well whatever, nevermind’ (as my last words in my bio)”
MATTY PEE: “Here lies Matty Pee, he would be grateful if you didn’t allow dogs to shit on his patch.”

PAUL: “Favourite Dawson’s Creek character?”
MACKIE: “Oh come on, what a silly question. Katie Holmes, aka Joey Potter.”
MATTY PEE: “My dream woman, big doughy brown eyes, long brown hair, amazing smile.”
PAUL: “Unanimous then.”
MATTY PEE: “She is purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect.”

(with that Chris ups and leaves)

PAUL: “Which member of the band is the most annoying and why?”
MACKIE: “Next!”
MATTY PEE: “Wow, this interview is an epic.”
MACKIE: “Pee.”
COOKIE: “Hmmm, that depends on the time of the month!”
MACKIE: “And the girl situation!”

(at this point things got a little personal and I’ve been asked not to print it…heh heh)

PAUL: “If you could be asked any question in an interview, what would it be?”
MACKIE: “I’m still wondering how the hell you’re going to post this chat Paul.”
MATTY PEE: “I bet Paul feels like some kind of multimedia Parkinson.”
PAUL: “It’s going to be edited.”
MACKIE: “Grrr misquoting me all over the shop i bet.”
COOKIE: “What’s blue and doesnt fit?”
MATTY PEE: “If you could have a groundhog day for one day in your life what day would it be and why?”
PAUL: “Pee…thats a cracking question.”
MACKIE: “Mine would be in a penthouse in Las Vegas fucking Tara Reid.”
MATTY PEE: “I would love to relive some days in my life just to see how they would change things now. But no regrets is my motto.”
MACKIE: “No regrets my ass.”
MATTY PEE: “I try to have no regrets.”
MACKIE: “If you had to remove one part of your body for medical research, which would it be?”
COOKIE:I would just like to be able to remember everything i’ve forgotten on pissed nights out! That would be such an eye opener.”

PAUL: “Who is the band pin-up?”
MATTY PEE: “It’s Cookie.”
COOKIE: “We pin Pee up but not because of his looks.”
MACKIE: “I would say Venus and Dave like to think they are the band pinups. Us three are minging kebabs bashers.”
MATTY PEE: “I was doing some kind of sexy ass shaking while extremly intoxicated went to do the splits and one leg fell off the stage, I landed on my shin and I could hardly walk, I took a taxi home that nite!”
PAUL: Stage of what? A gay cabaret show?”
MACKIE: “*laughs* Carwash!! A 70’s retro club in Magaluf. Cookie pulled the fattest minger in there. Literally.”
COOKIE: “When you can get a pint and a shot of aftershock for 66p nothing seems terible!”

PAUL: “Ok, think its about time we finished…its been 60 minutes! So any shout outs you wanna give?”
MATTY PEE: “Hmmmm it’s like the Oscars.”
MACKIE: “I want to give a shout out to my Mum… because if it wasn’t for her constantly asking me what the hell I am doing with my life (ie where are you going? when?) I wouldn’t actually know myself.”
COOKIE: “My Dad who paid for my trombone!”
MATTY PEE: “Big bad nazi Nev @ Underground Sound for doing a fine job on our EP, badgers, mum for the same reason as Mackie, she keeps you on track when you’re derailed and gets you right back on there.”
MACKIE: “And I wanna give a shout out to everybody on the Punktastic board and the Punktastic lads (cos I am contracted to do so) and the animal that is the badger.”
MATTY PEE: “PUNKTASTIC rock, you’ve given us so much support, you plug us nearly every week and we love you for it and to be honest without us your world’s and your messageboard would be a much duller and to be honest more normal place.”
MACKIE: “I love the Punktastic board.”
MATTY PEE: “Awww I feel all mushy inside now.”

PAUL: “Any final Jerry Springer-esque final thoughts?”
MACKIE: “I’m going for a wank now lads.”
MATTY PEE: “Life is a bitch, then you marry one, then you die in an inevitable bass fishing accident.”
COOKIE: “Take care of yourselves, and each other.”
MACKIE:Milk2Sugars pro-actively encourage badger baiting!”
MATTY PEE: “That is shocking.”
PAUL: “Can I quote you on that Macca?”
MACKIE: “Yes, please do. I aim for cornyness.”

And with that we left the boys trying to figure out an excuse for Mackie to skive work the following day, whilst Pee went off to drink tea…

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